When it comes down to humanity, there are really only two types of people in this world: #TeamTatted, and #TeamHmmImGonnaHaveToThinkMore. Whoever you are, we've all thought about it to some extent. Whether you have a tattoo for artistic expression, to remember an event, or to piss off your mom, you've gone through some sort of thought process to lead you to that moment. Ya know, that moment of sitting in that bright lighted room that oddly resembles a dentist office but the dentists traded in their scrubs for gage earrings and beards... and never went to dentistry school.
And then, there are the rest of us. The ones who have thought it through before, had brilliant ideas (or so we thought), but there was always something holding us back.
As an artist of sorts (you know, takes studio classes at schools, spends over 10 minutes editing my Instagram posts) of course I have considered getting a tattoo. I've actually contemplated it a generous amount considering the fact that I would rather suffer from the flu every winter than have a needle jabbed into my arm. But when I think back on my young and reckless years (which I might still be living in), I think about the many obsessions I've had, along with my poor judgment, and realize just how easily I could have gotten the worst tattoos imaginable.
Let's kick it off with my earliest obsession I can recall: monkeys. Yup, the disgusting animal that is creepily close to a human but hairier than (not all, but) most. I drew monkeys, I wore monkeys, I played with stuffed animal monkeys, I even LOOKED like a monkey! (I'm talkin' elementary school, my face was still too big for my head, you get the picture.) But can you IMAGINE if I didn't have a loving mother who would never let me get a tattoo as a child, I would have had the Limited, Too style monkey on my upper arm?? (the only location kids think tattoos can be)
Next, let me take you back to the times of purple skinny jeans and checkered converse... welcome to 7th grade. Middle school is the time to explore your inner emotions and wear them on your sleeve in the form of side bangs and colorful eyeliner. It was no surprise that I, just a misunderstood kid trying to fit in, was completely obsessed with all the punk bands, my favorite being All Time Low. The lead singer was gorgeous with his thin, greasy hair and voice of an angelic lemur. In a time of rebellion and angst, it's a blessing that I didn't end up with the lyrics to Six Feet Under the Stars tatted on my ribcage.
I really found myself in high school and college. More tattoo ideas I may have pondered include but are not limited to: "Jon Snow & Ygritte Forever," a photo of Drake at his Bar Mitzvah, a detailed list of the foods I can't digest, "Bad Bitches I'm Your Leader -Nicki Minaj," and the date of Mike's death on Breaking Bad.
So there you have it. Luckily, I am a very indecisive person- too indecisive to ever choose a tattoo design or location. Maybe one day I'll be brave enough to get one, and then look back on it in regret as a grandma. Until then, I'll stick to Sharpie...on paper.. I'll just stick to drawing.
